Bump in the Road

Before you read any further please remember that I am only human. This is MY blog. If you don’t like what you are reading, please keep the negative comments to yourself. This stuff is done and over with and we are extremely happy, and I promise not to do depressing (it’s not really depressing)post too much. Also this may be a long post so bear with me.

I can’t believe how fast this past year has flown by! Jesse and I started new jobs(right before the wedding) We rented out first apartment, got married, got a cat, got pre-approved for a loan for a house and the list goes on and on! We can skip the wedding stuff because there is already a post on that.

This past year has brought on so many emotions, and changes it was hard to keep track of everything. Last October we finally said “I Do”. Honestly that was the happiest day of my life. The happiness was short lived though (just keep reading) some things happened and only a few people know what really went down. We fought every day! It was so hard getting up every day and putting a smile on my face when all’s I really wanted to do was lay in bed and cry. We didn’t go to counseling like some people suggested; that’s just not me. We I contemplated divorce a few times. We stopped being social with our friends and we were no longer Jesse and Ashley. We were just Jesse and Just Ashley. I started hanging out with my friends without him. He did the same thing. It was really tough, and honestly we brought it upon ourselves. I talked a lot about it with my grandma, and got advice from her. I remember the one night I sat at her kitchen table with her and cried as I told her what was going on. I thought about calling a divorce lawyer because this marriage wasn’t what I wanted it to be. I started to think that getting married was a HUGH mistake. I was packing up some stuff in our room (we had planned on moving out of the apartment I just wanted to get a head start) and I came across this little book I had made him a few Christmas ago. 52 reasons why I love you; that little book I made for him helped made me realize why I fell in love with him. That book saved my marriage.

In April we started to look for our first house. Let me tell you, it is exhausting! We saw so many houses, in such a short amount of time it was 100% overwhelming. We didn’t find anything we really fell in love with so we never put an offer on any of the houses we looked at. Although Jesse really liked one of them and said he wouldn’t mind putting an offer in but, we never did. fast forward a few months, The end of May 2013 we found out we were expecting. We were so excited. I remember taking the stupid test and walking away to put the laundry in the dryer and I came back and I had a BFP (big fat positive). I couldn’t believe it! I ran and jumped on the bed where he was sleeping and woke him up yelling. I probably scared him. I couldn’t wait to start planning everything. I made a doctor appointment for the following Thursday. The doctor told me my HCG Levels were too low to take this pregnancy to term. So we didn’t tell anyone about the pregnancy except family and a few close friends in the event we did lose the baby. Not even 6 weeks after finding out we were pregnant, my mom and grandma took me to the emergency room. I was having a miscarriage. I didn’t feel good at all. I was weak and cramping so bad! And to make matters worse, Jesse was working and couldn’t come to the hospital with me. The doctor who was helping me was so nice! He was explaining everything, and taking his time and making sure I was comfortable. I felt horrible, I had so many questions, and I was mad. I was so mad, and hurt. The pregnancy wasn’t planned, it just happened. Not that it makes it hurt any less, and I thank GOD I wasn’t very far along. But the miscarriage brought us so much closer as a couple.

So now, we are taking things one day at a time. I know our anniversary is the 27^th and this is a bit early, but in the next two weeks we will be very busy (I’ll do a post on that later) and I wanted to make sure I wrote this post before I changed my mind. I use writing as my escape and my way of healing so even though we are past this stuff it sometimes still feels raw. I will be doing an anniversary post of what we did, but it won’t be until after our anniversary probably and we are moved out of our apartment.

 

Vacation Recap & 1st Anniversary

So we started the week kind of slow. Jesse actually worked Monday and Tuesday, so I had the apartment to myself to pack and clean. Monday was extremely uneventful; I don’t even think I put on real cloths that day. Tuesday I helped my cousin with her daycare, and we took the kids to the Pumpkin Patch. It was really cold! We got some cute pictures of the kids and then took them to eat lunch. I was lucky enough to spend the day with my best friend’s daughter, so she got to come with on the “field trip” too.

 After I got back home I packed up the apartment with my mom and then went to my grandmas to watch PLL and Ravenswood.  Wednesday was spent packing and Thursday was moving day. Thursday night I had a meeting at work I had to go to, and then it was back to moving more stuff. I had no idea how much stuff we had! It was crazy. Friday I went to my cousins and helped her with her daycare. 

Friday night Jesse and I went to Statesville Haunted Prison (BTW it was not worth the drive or money) with 2 of our friends. It was actually two haunted houses we were going through, but the wait is what took so long. The drive was about 2 hours both ways; luckily there wasn't too much traffic. By the time we got out of the haunted houses it was already about 11 pm, so we hit up a bar in Naperville. 

Saturday we made our way down to Normal, IL which was another 2 hours both ways. We went to an ISU football game to watch my little cousin cheer. It wasn't too bad temperature wise; it was the wind that made it feel so cold. The game was fun, and one of the cheerleaders got engaged during half time and after we all went to dinner. Saturday night we hung out with friends and went bowling, then headed to the bar. 

Sunday was our actual anniversary, and we planned on going to Chicago for the day but my uncle was having a surprise party so we stayed in town and went to dinner at Lino’s. It's so hard to believe that it has already been a year!

 And to wrap up our week of Vacation today we were bums all day and watched the full first season of The Following. So tomorrow its back to work for me and Jesse goes back on Wednesday.

Start of Vacation

This week we are on vacation, but sadly it’s not really a vacation at all; It’s packing, moving, and settling in for now. Our apartment is a huge mess and it’s driving me nuts not being able to do things like normal because most of our stuff is all packed up. So let’s do a quick weekend recap.

My weekend started Friday night. Jesse took me on a semi date night. We had dinner then went to a local watering hole for drinks and pool. And let me just say I did in fact win a game against Jesse fair and square.

Saturday my mom came over and helped me start packing. I also got Lilly a Halloween costume, yes I did in fact buy my cat a Halloween costume. She wasn't too thrilled with it but she was a good sport ( for the most part). 

We went to dinner with my parents and a hockey game after. We had AMAZING seats! And I got them free from work, so can’t complain too much. After we met up with some friends for drinks and danced the night away.

 

Sunday Funday consisted of sleeping off my killer headache, eating lunch, napping, and then hanging out with our neighbor (who just happens to be my best friend).

I was clearly ready for my vacation because Sunday night/ Monday morning I had a dream that we were going to Hawaii. Too bad it was just a dream though. After I got ready I had lunch with my grandma and went to get my little cousins birthday gift. Monday night was filled with take out and more packing! I seriously can’t wait to be done packing.

And to bring the circle to a close (for now) I got to spend the day with the cutest kids and my cousin. We took the kiddos to the pumpkin patch and froze our asses off. I had like 6 goats jump on me while I was trying to feed them, and one of the baby goats got out of the gate and into the waiting gate area. I couldn't pick him up and put him back because there is clearly a no picking up the animals sign right by the gates..UGHHHH… so I tried to scoot him back into the gates, and that’s when the stupid goats jumped on me. Took lots of pictures and then went to get the kids lunch. Kylie fell asleep on the way home so I drove around town until 2 so my mom could come help me pack some more. 

Now I’m watching the Halloween episode of PLL and the season premiere of Ravenswood.

Sneak Peek's

This week has been crazy! I worked open to close every day and I work tomorrow too. I am so tired it’s not even funny!  

Anyways, let’s start with a funny little story as to how dumb I can be.

So yesterday after working my crazy ass day, I got in my car and my keys fell off my key chain. The keys to our apartment to be exact. So I jumped out of the car and looked under the seat and everything. I found our mailbox key, but couldn't find the house keys at all! Once I got home I had Jesse look in the car and he couldn't find them either.  So I called my dad and asked him to get my car and take the seats out to try and find them. I called him on my lunch break and dropped off my car so he could do that while I was working. My mom picked me up after work, and told me they couldn't find them that he would go to Ace to get a copy of the keys tomorrow. She then proceeded to tell me I needed to be more careful with my stuff and asked if I checked my pockets or purse. Guess where I found the stupid keys!?! At the bottom of my freaking purse! Ughhh! I was legit freaking out because I couldn't find my keys anywhere. Anyways it probably wasn't as funny as I thought it was, but when you’re sleep deprived and hungry it became the funniest thing in the world, although my dad didn't think so.

On another note, Melody put some sneak peeks of our anniversary pictures up on FB. So here is a little sneak peek for everyone, and once we get the rest of them I’ll put them up. Let me tell you how AMAZING this woman is. She is the sweetest, nicest, funnest(is that even a word?) person I have met. She is an amazing photographer! We used her for our wedding photographer and you can see some of those here, and so did my cousin, and her now husband for their wedding. She is so accommodating to your needs, and actually listens to what you want. I we can’t wait to use her for future events.  You can find her website here. And if you are looking for a photographer I will 100% back her up!

Weekend shenanigans

Once again its go, go, go all weekend! Friday night was actually a relaxing night. I stopped and picked up HIMYM season 8 (umber excited!) some champagne and stuff to make lasagna. So I chopped up apples and mixed some apple cider with the champagne and poured it into my mason jar with the green lid pretty classy is you ask me! So freaking good! Jesse was mad because I drank most the bottle to myself; I figured I should let him have a glass of it.

Saturday day consisted of work, cleaning the house, 

then my parents’ house. Fuzzy and my uncle were there so we fed her dinner, played Barbie’s, hid and seek, and I tried to teach her this song called Toe Knee Chest Nut(It’s actually a cute song..YouTube it if you need to) so she kept running around yelling toe-knee-knows. 

After we I wanted to go home and watch HIMYM and just relax, but no. We ended up going to a bar with some friends, and playing pool all night it was more fun than I thought it would be. Sadly we didn't get home till 3 am! Ughh!! We only got about 4 hours of sleep. I was so exhausted!

Sunday we had church, we to Chipotle for lunch and then did our anniversary pictures. I know it’s early, but with our work schedules it’s hard to do stuff like that. So we went out and met Melody at the park and took our pictures. Ill posts them on the blog after we get them. After pictures we had dinner with some of our close friends and then went back to their house to watch a movie.

This is Kylie, she is our friend's daughter. She was singing when I took this picture

 After the movie was done we went home and of course watched HIMYM until well after midnight because I clearly am out of my mind. I had to be up by 5 am to get ready for work today.

Let’s just say when I woke up I really questioned my morals about what I thought was a good idea. So today I dragged my overly exhausted self out of bed, eyes burning because I was so tired and got ready and drove to work where I was for 10 hours today. I am so ready for bed! On the plus side it was a great weekend of spending time with friends and family.

Hump Day

I have been on a mini Vacation from work, so of course this week has went by pretty fast! So I have spent this past week playing catch up on cleaning, laundry, and packing up the apartment. Monday and Tuesday I ended up making dinner for Jesse, which was nice to have us both home on a weekday around dinner because it almost never happens like that.

Today I got to spend time with my cousin and her day care kids

Fuzzy!

 and then shopping for a new shirt from pictures this weekend. The photographer who shot our wedding pictures is doing our anniversary pictures as well (I know it’s early, but if I don’t do them now I never will!) She is an amazing photographer who we would recommend to anyone! You can find more info about her here. Once we get the pictures I will do a post about them which will probably be around the time of our anniversary! Can’t believe it’s already been a year! Tonight after shopping I stopped at Kobe’s in the mall for dinner…mmm I LOVE their Teriyaki chicken it is the best! 

An to end the night, just watching a little Orange is the new black on Netflix.

And this is the GIANT cricket right outside my front door this morning