I’ve had this post written for a while; I just haven’t
gotten around to posting it. I’ve mad changes to it, and scrapped it twice. I
am not an open person, but on here I try to be. We have been busy lately, with
work and family, and just life in general. I knew if I didn’t post this now, it
wouldn’t get posted.
So from my last post we decided to make our struggle with
fertility known, we were asking for prayer on this season of our life. We are
still struggling, so not much has changed unfortunately. We did however meet
with a fertility specialist in June. We went over our “goals” and plans for
starting a family with him. He was very open and honest, he answered all of the
questions we had, and some I hadn’t even thought of yet. He laid out our game
plan, and all of the baseline tests that needed to be done before we could
actually start trying.
Currently our insurance through my employer, does not offer
ANY kind of fertility treatment. No testing or anything! I’ve known for a
while, that nothing would be covered, but once we found out how much the
testing alone was going to cost, I got really discouraged. I was angry, and
frustrated and felt very defeated. So, I wrote a letter to my HR department,
asking them to consider offering coverage. This is part of the reason I hadn’t
posted this yet, I’ve been waiting on an answer for a few months.
Unfortunately, they said at this time they wouldn’t be able
to cover treatments. I got a little emotional, when I had the meeting with HR
and they told me no. They were very understanding, and thankfully the woman who
is handling my letter is fantastic. She told me that they couldn’t offer
coverage without the premiums going up substantially, which I understand. She
did however say that testing should be covered. I was happy to hear that, and
she is going to be working with the clinic to get the tests covered.
She said that she is hoping in the future, that maybe
treatment options will be covered. She did say that she would be looking into
an “add-on” option for coverage. So If I want the extra coverage but someone
else doesn’t, I would just pay the difference to have that coverage. So even
though they cant offer the coverage, there may be another option. So I am
waiting to hear back on that. I do however have amazing doctors who said they
would be willing to code tests differently to make sure they would be covered,
as most insurance companies wont cover anything fertility related.
So as of now, we are looking to start going to the clinic in
January or February, and we couldn’t be more excited. We have an amazing
support system of friends and family, we have so many people praying for us
right now. We are so blessed to have each and every one of them in our lives.
We decided to put this is Gods hands, and even though I sill stress and worry
about this, Jesse has been amazing. He has been my rock, and my voice of
reasoning the last few months while I was waiting for an answer from HR. He is
so positive, and loving even when I feel like I want to give up.
I believe Gods timing is never wrong, and that this is
preparing us to be the parents we need to be. We have talked, and know that
even if we can’t have biological children, we will be adopting.
If you have never heard the song “While I’m Waiting” by John
Waller, I highly recommend it. This is one of my favorite songs, and has become
a constant reminder that Gods timing is never wrong. Someone very near and dear
to my heart sent me the video randomly one night. She said it reminded her of
me, and the struggles Jesse and I have been going through. It means the world
to me that she took the time to do that, and just send me an “I’m thinking of
you text”.
This season of our life hasn’t been easy, and waiting for
something that means this much to not only me, but Jesse as well has literally
been the hardest thing I have had to do. This has brought us closer together as
a couple, as well as closer to God. I LOVE our church family, especially our
small group. They are so supportive and loving. Waiting is not easy, and it’s
certainly not fun, but it will be SO worth it in the end.
“I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word
I put my hope”
-Psalms 130:5
“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard
my cry”
-Psalms 40:1
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans
to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Then
you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will
seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart”
Jeremiah 29:11-13
