Mother's Day

When I was younger I always thought that I would be married and have babies by the time I was 20...what a joke. Yes I am married and that did happen at age 20, but fast forward three years and I am nowhere near that point in my life. I do want kids one day, and I debated even writing about this, but this is how I cope with things. Writing and reading get me through hard times. Jesse and I got married October 27, 2012 and we couldn’t wait to start planning our life together.

We moved into our first apartment right after we got married, and in November 2012 we got our first fur baby, a little orange tabby kitten named Lilly. In May 2013 we started to look at houses and in June we found out we were pregnant with our first baby. Sadly in July I had a miscarriage and it was horrible. It took a huge toll on me, I stopped going to church and I hated God for that loss. We talked about trying again but I wasn’t ready. I couldn’t handle that feeling again, it would have destroyed me. So we decided that it wasn’t time for us to have kids right now and we were both okay with that.

We moved in with my Grandparents in November 2013. We only planned on staying until we could find a house. In October 2014 we closed on our first house, November 2014 we got our second fur baby, will a black calico kitten named Willow. Jump to December 2014 and fur baby number 3, an 8 week old red heeler puppy named Lennox joined the Brewer household.

On March 30^th 2015, I found out I was pregnant. This was really hard for me to accept, we were not trying at all. It was an accident really but I was beyond excited, and so was Jesse. This time we only told a few people but it’s only because I can’t keep a secret from my best friends, and I had really bad nausea. Mother’s day 2015 was going to be the day we shared our news with everyone. Unfortunately I had another miscarriage. This one wasn’t as bad as the first one. I took that loss as God’s way of saying that baby would have been too much for you to handle. Yes, I do get sad when I see pregnant women, because I want to experience being pregnant for more than a few weeks. I want to hold my new born baby and not cry sometimes because I thought by now I would be a mom, and in that sense I am not. We will be trying again but probably not right away.

This post is not a “hey lets feel sorry for myself post”. This post is for all Mothers. For the Moms who have more babies in Heaven than on earth. For the moms who never got to hold their babies. For the moms who carried the baby to term only to learn that they were stillborn. For the moms who have lost babies to SIDS, and the moms who had to bury their babies. For the birth moms who have given their babies up for adaption and for the adoptive mom who gets to love that baby as her own. For the women who have stepped up to be that mom when they didn’t have to, but wanted to because they love that child more than life itself. For the Moms who only have fur babies, for the moms who had to play mom and grandma, and the moms who have to play dad too. To all the new moms and expecting moms, worried they won’t be good enough, or don’t know how to be a mom yet.

I am beyond blessed, I got to grow up with my mom and my grandma both playing mom. At the time I hated it, but now I am so thankful I had both of those amazing women in my life playing a major role. I wouldn’t be who I am today without guys, I love you both so much! Alyssa, Thank you for being so supportive the last few weeks, it means so much more than you could know. I am beyond thrilled for you and the life you are carrying, even though this has been hard on me, I can’t wait to him in August!

Sorry this post is so long but it makes me sad to think that all moms aren’t celebrated on this day. Some women can’t have babies so they have fur babies, but that doesn’t make them any less of a mom to that animal. Just because a woman has experienced loss in a pregnancy doesn’t make her any less of a mom either, she just never got to meet her baby. So happy Mother’s day to all moms!

Date Night

Last night was date night for Jess and I. We haven’t had a “planned” date night in forever so it was a nice surprise. I got off work at 4, came home got ready and we were out the door by 5. We stopped at Target first, and I got my first Keurig! I am beyond excited. I have wanted one for a while and finally bit the bullet and bought one. 

Next was one of our favorite places to eat, Chipotle. Burrito bowls with a tortilla on the side are the best!!

 After we got done eating, we went and saw Get Hard. The theater was super crowded, but the movie was so funny! Kevin Hart is hilarious! I love watching his shows on TV or Netflix when I get a chance; Will and Kevin together are a great team. There is a TON of swearing in the movie, but if you can get past that I definitely recommend seeing it!

So after the movie we stopped at my grandparent’s house to help put my Great Grandma to bed. I have had such bad baby fever lately and everywhere I look I see babies and I dream about babies. It’s pretty bad, so we ended up discussing possible baby names for our fictional 50 kids that we are going to have. Jess is Korean, so he thought he was being funny throwing out random names I couldn’t pronounce even if I tried.

So we left and went home, I watched and episode of Greys Anatomy and Jess went to bed. I decided that it would be a good idea to set up my Keurig at midnight and make a cup of tea that came with it, and ended up dumping it because it tasted like and looked like tar. But coffee this morning has been much better! I LOVE New England coffee, but Target doesn’t sell it so I got Starbucks Mocha to try and it is pretty good with a little sugar and hazelnut creamer.

So today I am cleaning the house and hopefully finishing one of two paintings for my best friends son. Happy Saturday!

Updating in the House

This past weekend was a busy one for us! We had a family birthday party for my cousin, and me, and Jesse’s birthday was Sunday. So Naturally, I decided that I needed to paint our hall built in closet/drawers, hang curtains in both bedrooms, and stain the wood for our floor to finally finish the tile that we put down in front of our front door.

My mom and dad came over to help move things along for us thankfully! So my dad hung the curtains, I stained the trim for the floor, and my mom and I painted the closet. So here are the before and after pictures of the closet and the master bedroom, the guest room and the master are not fully done yet but it’s a start.

This is our master bedroom

The new dressers from IKEA that I freaking LOVE!!!

Before

After, we painted and added new hardware!

2 year Anniversary pictures

So I was going through my bold and I realized I never put up our second anniversary pictures.Our pictures were taken once again by Melody, she is awesome and I love working with her, and can't wait for years to come so she can photograph all the memories! So here are some of the anniversary pictures!

DIY Cat Box Holder

So we have been looking for something to hid the cat box in for a while and everything online was kind of expensive so I searched online and Pinterest for some ideas on a DIY project to hid that ugly cat box.

My Friend and I took a trip to IKEA a few weeks ago and I purchased a white dresser, so we decided to use that to hid the litter box and we will buy something else for our room later. So here is our DIY cat box hider.

My uncle actually did this project for us, He put the dresser together and I showed him where I wanted the cats to be able to get inside at. He added a piece of wood to the bottom drawer for added support and the cut the holes in the drawer and the side of the dresser.

This project couldn’t of been any simpler and I LOVE the end results. So now the litter box is no longer in our closet and it is hidden in a fully functional dresser.